I started playing Eve Online back in July. I'm what is known as a "hiSec carebear", in that I mind my own business and do not go out and try and blow up other people's internet spaceships. Instead I run missions (like WoW quests), and mine resources. Today I had my first serious interaction with someone meaning to do me harm.
The below transcript will be somewhat confusing to someone unfamiliar with the game mechanics, so I'll try and provide a running commentary. It started when someone warped into the asteroid belt I was mining. He locked his weapons on my mining ship (which is the usual way to get someone's attention), and asked to open a conversation.
[20:08:22] Diedre Starchasm > Hello
[20:08:39] Ammiraglio Adamo > are u a mining bot?
[20:08:45] Diedre Starchasm > no
[20:08:50] Diedre Starchasm > I'm just triple boxing
[20:09:19] Diedre Starchasm > pulling about 80m out of this belt
[20:10:20] Ammiraglio Adamo > 50 sec and ur plagio will be mine ;)
This is pretty laughable. He's flying a Velator, which is the weakest combat ship in the game. It's given out free when you first roll your character. Which explains why he was flying it for this particular scam -- he hadn't invested any money in buying it. In the asteroid belt is my second character flying an Orca (a mining support ship), and a third character flying a Myrmidon (a battlecruiser).
[20:10:51] Diedre Starchasm > 50 seconds and your rookie ship implodes!
Between my advanced combat drones and my turret guns, 5 seconds would have been more accurate. But I liked the deadly symmetry.
[20:11:14] Ammiraglio Adamo > i dont think so
[20:11:32] Ammiraglio Adamo > so now i need a transport
[20:12:16] Ammiraglio Adamo > i have a friend near that can upload ur plagio
[20:12:22] Ammiraglio Adamo > hope he can be free
[20:13:14] Ammiraglio Adamo > thx mate, free isk ;)
Hearing that he had allies, I decided to dock my Orca up. It costs about what I'd make from a week's worth of mining.
[20:13:18] Diedre Starchasm > how much are you willing to get concordockened to get 4.4m isk?
[20:13:30] Ammiraglio Adamo > im not concorded
If you are mining in high security space and someone fires on you, the Concord police force warps in and blows up the aggressor ("they are Concordokkened"). At this point, I thought that he and a few of his friends were going to blow up my Retriever and then grab the ore that would drop after the explosion. If the ships that do the ganking are cheap enough, and the cargo drop lucrative enough, then piracy is a reasonable way to make a living.
So I let him know how much my ore was worth.
[20:13:44] Ammiraglio Adamo > when u steal only u can kill me, but u wad afk so now u cant ;)
[20:14:10] Ammiraglio Adamo > oh nice my friend is free
[20:14:11] Ammiraglio Adamo > good
[20:14:46] Ammiraglio Adamo > u cant fire man
[20:14:53] Ammiraglio Adamo > this is a steal war
[20:15:12] Ammiraglio Adamo > u must fire when i steal, not after, too late ;)
Ah. That's a different matter. He's going to try a different scam, called "can flipping." This is where the pirate tries to get me to fire on him. And then I would be wiped out by his friends.
Unfortunately for the pirate... I wasn't ever going to leave my ore cans lying about.
[20:15:10] Diedre Starchasm > Um... you did notice the orca warping out, didn't you?
[20:15:30] Diedre Starchasm > i'm not leaving jetcans lying around
[20:15:30] Ammiraglio Adamo > yeah, and so?
Just to taunt him, I loaded one single piece of ore (worth a really miniscule amount of isk) into a can and jettisoned it. He took the bait.
[20:24:00] Ammiraglio Adamo > lol only 1 veldspar
[20:26:21] Diedre Starchasm > I figure you should get something for all the time you're wasting here
[20:26:41] Ammiraglio Adamo > im not wasting time, im doing isk with ur mine
[20:26:52] Diedre Starchasm > Would you feel better if I blew you up and looted it?
[20:27:52] Ammiraglio Adamo > bro i steal ur mine and u cant kill me because my ship is very tanked
[20:27:53] Ammiraglio Adamo > so i win
[20:28:43] Diedre Starchasm > you're flying a rookie ship, and I've got a Battlecruiser and 5 drones...
[20:29:05] Diedre Starchasm > so i'm not sure whether you're an idiot, or you think i am
[20:29:08] Ammiraglio Adamo > lol ok, but i steal ur mining :DDDD
[20:29:37] Diedre Starchasm > while you're here, I'm not going to jetcan anything important. I'll take the 5 min to fly it back to Amarr.
At this point, he must have realized I wasn't going to fall for his scam. He changed tactics:
[20:30:44] Ammiraglio Adamo > i love pilots like u because u havant balls to fight for ur mining
[20:30:51] Ammiraglio Adamo > so i steal it =)))
[20:31:19] Diedre Starchasm > Um... you can't steal what I don't jetcan. Unless you want to blow up my Retriever.
[20:31:56] Diedre Starchasm > So feel free to hang around and get bored. I'll consider it my good deed for the day, as I'm keeping you from actually ganking someone else
[20:32:07] Ammiraglio Adamo > ohoohooh
[20:32:08] Ammiraglio Adamo > lol
[20:32:19] Ammiraglio Adamo > someone else, im scared
[20:32:21] Ammiraglio Adamo > ahahhahahhaha
[20:33:22] Ammiraglio Adamo > u are so funny
[20:33:27] Ammiraglio Adamo > but u dont know eve mechanics
[20:33:37] Ammiraglio Adamo > u can kill me only when i am red
[20:33:46] Ammiraglio Adamo > and i will red only for 4 minutes
[20:33:53] Ammiraglio Adamo > after that u will not kill me
One of the first things that Eve University tells new players to do is set up the default on-screen Overview to clearly show who you can safely fire on in high security space. He was Red to both of my ships.
[20:33:53] Diedre Starchasm > Which you are.
[20:35:07] Diedre Starchasm > So either you're ignorant, or think I am. But in any case, the UI will change on Wednesday and make it more clear.
There's a new patch coming on Tuesday which will update the user interface so newbies won't fall for this sort of thing.
[20:35:35] Ammiraglio Adamo > u are ignorant because u dont fire when u can, so u suck
[20:36:37] Diedre Starchasm > No, I'm griefing you and harvesting your tears. Your bitter "Waaah, why won't you fire on me!?!" tears
[20:37:03] Diedre Starchasm > Since that's what you want, I'm not giving it to you. Lest you show up in 5 minutes with kill rights on me with a decent ship
[20:38:05] Ammiraglio Adamo > ahahha ok
[20:38:09] Ammiraglio Adamo > so suck =)
[20:38:26] Ammiraglio Adamo > bye bye
As soon as I mentioned "harvesting his bitter tears", he realized that I was saavy enough to not play his game. It's a meme among the griefer community -- that the reason they gank newbies and scam mercilessly is because they derive satisfaction from the angry responses and ragequits of their victims.
So he departed with a final insult.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
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